Together We Stand

Abuse is abuse, and abuse is wrong! You have suffered in darkness. You have suffered alone. No more! You are not alone. You are now among those of us who understand, who have been there, and who have lived the same nightmare. Your light may be dim, but it still shines. You are here for a reason, to rekindle your fire within. For centuries, world-wide, these oiled-paper wonders have been sent with wishes of hope and dreams, as well as silent screams of pain, penned on notes secured inside them. They are deep cries from the soul, being set free. Releasing these flames and cries carries danger as they drift into the night and into our world. Embrace that danger, embrace the pain, and embrace you. Together we will show the world our light, our pain, our cries for peace, and our soul. This is our story. This is us, Universally Us.

Why do narcissists give only misery? They seem to have the best of intentions. They say they love you. They say they want what is best for you. They say they want peace and happiness with you. Yet, everyone is miserable. Why?? You can only really give that which you have. If all you have […]

Sometimes We Stay for Our Kids…..At Least For A While I am right now at the point of making the single hardest decision I have ever made. Do I stay or do I leave? Do I file for divorce or do I keep putting it off? This is NOT an easy decision. It is one […]

Narcissists: Is it Okay to Love Them and Still Walk Away? Absolutely YES!!! I hear so many people questioning themselves about walking away from abusive relationships. If this is you, please read on. First let me say, I fully recognize that narcissists and abusive partners can definitely be male or female. For the ease of […]

How to Turn the Table on a Narcissist One extremely effective tactic for when you are forced to communicate with a narcissist in your life. Narcissists absolutely hate for the other person to be right. Especially if that person is a spouse, significant other, parent or child. They will disagree with you simply for the […]

Narcissists and Emotions Narcissists seem to have absolutely no emotional intelligence, inside themselves or with the world around them. The general consensus is that they have no understanding of basic human emotion, especially other people’s emotions. They continuously stomp all over your feelings and don’t show an ounce of care about it. They can talk […]

The Distorted View of an Abuse Victim A Distorted View of Reality When my son was around 9 years old, he apparently needed glasses. We did not know that he needed glasses. He was not aware that things were blurry to him. He thought that what he saw was reality. For example when he looked […]

A Plea to Parents Parents, please listen!! If only I had known years ago what I know now! If only I understood then what I understand now. If only I could have seen then what I see now. I could have helped my kids SO much more. These thoughts pour through my head often. As […]

I Survived the Day of Divorce So my divorce is finally done! Our court date was 2 days ago, and it’s over. This was a day that I thought would never actually get here. I’ve known for years that it was coming. The verbal and emotional abuse was never going to stop. The psychological games […]

A Life-Saving Epiphany An epiphany is a light bulb moment. It is a sudden intuitive grasp of reality, an illuminating discovery, realization, disclosure, or insight, or a revealing moment in time. My favorite definition that I ran across is “a moment of sudden or great revelation that usually changes you in some way.” I have […]

When I Told My Covert Narcissist that I was Done The emotional energy in the house had reached an all-time high. This family was about to explode! I was about to explode! I told my family that I was ready to tell him that I am truly done. It is time to file for divorce. […]

How Did I Know it was Time to File for Divorce? I am in a 20 year marriage, and divorce has been coming for a long time. For a few years now, my friends and family have been asking me when I am actually going to file. My answer has always been, “I don’t know, […]

Why do Narcissists Give Only Misery? They seem to have the best of intentions. They say they love you. They say they want what is best for you. They say they want peace and happiness with you. Yet, everyone is miserable. Why?? You can only really give that which you have. If all you have […]

I Can’t Fix This! My Shit-Sweeping Broom So the first 10 years of our marriage were seen by him and the world as nearly perfect. We never fought and hardly ever disagreed. We were told repeatedly that we were such a wonderful fit and seemed so happy together. Why? Because I was using a shit-sweeping […]

From Victim to Survivor to Victor When you are dealing with a covert narcissist, it is so incredibly hard to see the abuse, especially at first. You may know that something is wrong in the relationship, but you are just as likely to blame yourself as you are to blame your partner. In fact, you […]

The Apology Dodging of a Narcissist I have never met anyone better at dodging apologizing than a narcissist. They are experts at it. Their sense of superiority causes them to never feel that they are in the wrong. Other “inferior” individuals are always to blame. So for them to apologize requires that they lower themselves […]

Narcissists take NO personal responsibility Do you ever wonder why you find yourself carrying all the responsibility in your relationship? Do you find yourself listening to excuse after excuse for his or her bad behavior? Are you tired of hearing why it’s okay THIS time? Excuses pile up – I had a bad childhood. My […]

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8 Signs of Circular Conversations What is a circular conversation? Let me start by saying these aren’t conversations. They are verbal competitions and even warfare. Narcissists don’t use conversations to find understanding and compromise. They use them to win. These conversations are extremely planned and manipulated. There is absolutely no such thing as spontaneity. There […]

How to Help Yourself When Dealing with a Narcissist If you are waiting for the Narcissist in your life to take care of you, you will wait for a VERY long time. They will not, they cannot, and they never will. Not only will the wait be long, it will be painful, frustrating, exhausting, and […]

Leave or Stay for the Kids Should I leave for my kids or should I stay for my kids? This has to be one of the toughest questions I have ever faced in life. What is right for the kids? Which way is the least damaging to their young hearts? How do I protect them […]