Screwed myself so badly when I took off.

[Carmen]

Hi all. A short introduction… I left my narc 2 years ago after 7 years of marriage, 13 years together and a (then 3 year old) child. I left when the emotional and mental abuse turned physical for the 1st time. I walked out the door and basically never returned. My mistake? I didn’t take my son with me. I had no plan. STBX was an obsessive workaholic and was never home, so I stupidly thought I could remove myself from him without having to displace my child. He has since strangled me from being able to spend more than 3 weeknights a week with my son. I have been to 2 therapists and a mediator with him. I have put my son in his own play therapy. I have my own therapist. We have been actively in the divorce process over a year now and have gotten nowhere. He was very well advised and has done so many things to disable me from having any control. I should include that I left the marital home because it was his house from 10 years before I met him. My name isn’t on the title. I would love to meet other women in this boat – being accused by their narc of abandoning the child and being fought by the narc for more than 50% custody.

Topic

[Alex Delon]

Hey Carmen,

I am so sorry to hear all this! How is your son doing? Have you been able to get time with him through this quarantine?

Renee

[Melanie]

Carmen…I am in the same boat. I have been divorced for 10 years and STILL going through the most with him. He has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, he is a narcissist and also has displayed anti social behavior.

I did the same… I left. But I moved out of state. I moved to Texas and my kids ended up staying with my ex husband in MN. This wasn’t by choice, somehow he convinced the courts that the kids were better off with him. Fast forward to today, my children are having the most difficult time living with him. They are 14 and 12. They want to live with me but he has kept them from seeing me for the past 3 yesrs. They fear for their lives, they are terrified of him as they should be. My kids and I don’t even know where to start…it’s a sticky situation

[Alex Delon]

He Melanie, stay strong for your kids. These teenage years are crucial. They are tough years, even in healthy homes. I hope that you are able to be with them soon!

Are you able to get the court involved on their behalf?

[Foxx]

Hi,

I left the marital home and have the kids. I put so much more money into the house than he did. Me and my kids live in a small apartment while he lives in a 4 bedroom house by himself! He refuses to give me anything, no child support, nothing. Before we married, I was the one living in my own house and he lived in an apartment. Now, tables have turned, for now anyways.

[Alex Delon]

Hi Foxx,

My favorite part of what you said is “for now anyways.” The story definitely doesn’t end here. You have SO many wonderful days ahead of you. I’m so glad you have your kids. I wish you much peace on your journey of healing!

[Author]

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