For years I have attempted to discuss openly and resolve conflicts, only to experience one of three things: 1. Silent treatment, running off, dismissal, and refusal to address issue, 2. Will talk about it, on their terms, usually ending with circular conversations, DARVO, crazy-making or verbal abuse (SHOVE IT UP YOUR A** is a favorite term of my partner) to shut down convo when faced with accountability or point they dont like, or 3. Rarely, will listen, agree, act like I’m reasonable but then backtrack/retract solution/act like it wasnt discussed later when held accountable. It’s happened so often that even though I’ve traditionally persued resolution and discussion I now feel frozen by conflict and get too anxious to discuss issues anymore due to my experiences and avoid it for fear of the tactics above and never knowing what I’m going to get. I’m worried I’m becoming very anxious and avoidant in response to my partners long-term behavior and that he will use it to say I’m the one unwilling to discuss issues. Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing?
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