Together We Stand

Abuse is abuse, and abuse is wrong! You have suffered in darkness. You have suffered alone. No more! You are not alone. You are now among those of us who understand, who have been there, and who have lived the same nightmare. Your light may be dim, but it still shines. You are here for a reason, to rekindle your fire within. For centuries, world-wide, these oiled-paper wonders have been sent with wishes of hope and dreams, as well as silent screams of pain, penned on notes secured inside them. They are deep cries from the soul, being set free. Releasing these flames and cries carries danger as they drift into the night and into our world. Embrace that danger, embrace the pain, and embrace you. Together we will show the world our light, our pain, our cries for peace, and our soul. This is our story. This is us, Universally Us.

LIFE WITH A NARCISSIST: AN EXHAUSTION LIKE NO OTHER My 18-year old son recently said to me, “Mom, no marriage is perfect and no individual is perfect. Sure. And if only you had done “XYZ…ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVW” then maybe your marriage to dad could have possibly worked. But he couldn’t even do “A” so there is no […]

Medical Emergency SOS Services GIVE YOURSELF AN EDGE AGAINST PREDATORS Be a Savvy-Sly Badass Not a Victim! With the touch of a button or two we can AUDIBLY or SILENTLY call emergency services with our iPhone, Apple Watch and select Androids. They will simultaneously alert emergency services, flash our location to them and to personal […]

TWO SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE TOOLS FOR HEALING THE PAIN OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE Do you feel that narcissism is everywhere? The red flags of narcissistic abuse are all around us. Even the very word “narcissism” is plastered all over the internet. We are seeing the effects of the abuse in ourselves, our kids, other family members, […]

Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]

7 COMMON THINGS THE NARCISSIST SAYS TO UNDERMINE YOU Narcissistic people are extremely skilled at making you doubt yourself. They can turn the most confident person in the world into a messy ball of insecurity. Without even realizing it happened! All of sudden you realize that you are doubting every thought you have, every word […]

A young woman, two generations younger and half a world away suggested I write a Q & A Blog for survivors. She’s still picking eggshells and gravel out of her feet after a bad breakup with a narcissist, but she’s out. She’s right, it would be encouraging and informative to hear from other survivors. Am hoping […]

We adapt: to their tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving you back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty towards you…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the […]

TACTICS NARCISSISTS USE TO MANIPULATE AND CONTROL  By Alex N. Delon   One of the biggest reasons people get into and stay in toxic relationships with a narcissistic partner is because they don’t know what they’re dealing with…the ploys and patterns. They don’t understand the dynamics of narcissism and struggle to make it work. To […]

By Alex Delon, author of LEAVING YOU….for me.        alexdelon.com An answer to the above question posted on Quora.com:  I reached that point a few months after my Medicare card arrived…after 47.5 years of marriage…four days after a walk on the boardwalk to watch a dazzling sunset, a wildly intimate weekend where we toasted […]

by Alex Delon   alexdelon.com Beginning again after an abusive relationship is an adventure. We may find ourselves in new relationships, not wanting to make the mistakes we made before, or treat anyone with less than honesty and respect we all deserve. I’m learning as I go…and this is a lesson I needed to live and […]

EMOTIONAL SAFETY FOR OUR KIDS Damaging Our Kids How much damage are we doing to our own kids? You may think that it is only your toxic partner that is hurting them, but you will be surprised to find that you are perhaps adding to that damage too. “I was SO wrapped up in trying […]

I JUST WANT TO BE ME. I don’t want to be your therapist. I don’t want to be your emotional validator. I don’t want to be your hero, your savior, your goddess or god. I don’t want to be your mother. I don’t want to be your father. I don’t want to be responsible for […]

THE NARCISSIST’S CONSTANT VICTIM ROLE Covert narcissists are constant victims. Everyone has done them wrong. Everyone has injured their precious ego at some point or another. The whole world is responsible for their anger, negativity, lack of initiative, lack of motivation, and even their lack of empathy. From the tiniest injury to the grandest, the […]

How the Covert Narcissist Plays Rejection, Abandonment, and Abuse My marriage lasted almost 21 years. For most of these years, I convinced myself and the world that I had the perfect marriage. We were simply great together. There was no other option available. The mind is powerful and can do amazing things. I truly believed […]

The Sting of Covert Narcissism Covert narcissism is messed up! It is so twisted you feel like you are going insane just trying to get a grasp on what’s going on. It is so hard to pinpoint and impossible to describe. You can’t possibly explain it to someone who hasn’t experienced it themselves. Trying to […]

Living Like a Blind Fool You stomped all over my feelings, Smashing them again and again, Like a bull, thrashing in a China shop. No awareness and no remorse. Living like a blind fool.   I forgave you, though apologies never came, Blaming myself again and again, Like a mouse, afraid of my own feelings. […]

No Reconciliation Ever with a Narcissist In relationships, you are certainly going to upset each other from time to time. You are going to hurt each other’s feelings. You are going to upset each other. This is a very normal part of life. Knowing this is true, however, caused me for years to justify what […]

Others have it much worse than me, shouldn’t I just be grateful? A Recurring Perspective One perspective that keeps surfacing from my readers goes something like this, “I read other people’s stories and hear the nightmares they are living. Physical abuse, alcohol and drugs, sex addiction and cheating. Mine simply isn’t that bad. Sure, he […]

What Happens when a Narcissist Tries to “Fix” that Broken Relationship? When does a relationship with a narcissist get worse? When that narcissist decides that they must “fix” the relationship. When they decide to “take charge” of making things right. This is a disaster! What Does “Fix” the Relationship Mean to a Narcissist? It means: […]

Why do narcissists give only misery? They seem to have the best of intentions. They say they love you. They say they want what is best for you. They say they want peace and happiness with you. Yet, everyone is miserable. Why?? You can only really give that which you have. If all you have […]