Together We Stand

Abuse is abuse, and abuse is wrong! You have suffered in darkness. You have suffered alone. No more! You are not alone. You are now among those of us who understand, who have been there, and who have lived the same nightmare. Your light may be dim, but it still shines. You are here for a reason, to rekindle your fire within. For centuries, world-wide, these oiled-paper wonders have been sent with wishes of hope and dreams, as well as silent screams of pain, penned on notes secured inside them. They are deep cries from the soul, being set free. Releasing these flames and cries carries danger as they drift into the night and into our world. Embrace that danger, embrace the pain, and embrace you. Together we will show the world our light, our pain, our cries for peace, and our soul. This is our story. This is us, Universally Us.

We are Not Allowed to be Human A covert narcissist’s humanness hangs all out for you to see. They seem to not have a care in the world about what you or the kids think of them. My ex spent all of his non-working hours with his feet up, playing video games and watching movies. […]

Narcissistic Abuse and Your Perspective When you change your perspective, everything changes!! I am realizing more and more how true this statement is. Your perspective is everything.  Your perspective tells you: Whether something is a big deal or not Whether you should be offended by something or not Whether something is your fault or not […]

FORGIVENESS MAY NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS Among abuse survivors, I hear a lot of debate over whether we should forgive our abuser or not. In fact, this is often a heated topic. Some victims think that the only way to heal is through forgiving your abuser. Then you can let go and […]

That people are quick to hurl blame and shame in the guise of accountability is often nonsense and cruel. The Blame “It takes two, you know.” I got that one from a friend when I told her my husband was having another affair and I’d left him. She frosted her remark with, “Well, he always […]

Single Life…just what is it? Google defines ‘single’ as; only one, not one of several, unmarried or not involved in a stable sexual relationship. Yup, that pretty much sums it up, but what does it feel like when you have to own it? Reminds me of that damned roller coaster. The slammed-to-the-back-tug when you pull […]

Imagine a dog that has been neglected. It lives in a home with an owner. The potential for love and care is there, but yet it doesn’t exist. The dog is ignored most of the time. When it does manage to grab the attention of the owner, the owner is mean and harsh. He yells […]

LIFE WITH A NARCISSIST: AN EXHAUSTION LIKE NO OTHER My 18-year old son recently said to me, “Mom, no marriage is perfect and no individual is perfect. Sure. And if only you had done “XYZ…ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVW” then maybe your marriage to dad could have possibly worked. But he couldn’t even do “A” so there is no […]

Medical Emergency SOS Services GIVE YOURSELF AN EDGE AGAINST PREDATORS Be a Savvy-Sly Badass Not a Victim! With the touch of a button or two we can AUDIBLY or SILENTLY call emergency services with our iPhone, Apple Watch and select Androids. They will simultaneously alert emergency services, flash our location to them and to personal […]

TWO SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE TOOLS FOR HEALING THE PAIN OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE Do you feel that narcissism is everywhere? The red flags of narcissistic abuse are all around us. Even the very word “narcissism” is plastered all over the internet. We are seeing the effects of the abuse in ourselves, our kids, other family members, […]

Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]

7 COMMON THINGS THE NARCISSIST SAYS TO UNDERMINE YOU Narcissistic people are extremely skilled at making you doubt yourself. They can turn the most confident person in the world into a messy ball of insecurity. Without even realizing it happened! All of sudden you realize that you are doubting every thought you have, every word […]

A young woman, two generations younger and half a world away suggested I write a Q & A Blog for survivors. She’s still picking eggshells and gravel out of her feet after a bad breakup with a narcissist, but she’s out. She’s right, it would be encouraging and informative to hear from other survivors. Am hoping […]

We adapt: to their tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving you back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty towards you…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the […]

TACTICS NARCISSISTS USE TO MANIPULATE AND CONTROL  By Alex N. Delon   One of the biggest reasons people get into and stay in toxic relationships with a narcissistic partner is because they don’t know what they’re dealing with…the ploys and patterns. They don’t understand the dynamics of narcissism and struggle to make it work. To […]

By Alex Delon, author of LEAVING YOU….for me.        alexdelon.com An answer to the above question posted on Quora.com:  I reached that point a few months after my Medicare card arrived…after 47.5 years of marriage…four days after a walk on the boardwalk to watch a dazzling sunset, a wildly intimate weekend where we toasted […]

by Alex Delon   alexdelon.com Beginning again after an abusive relationship is an adventure. We may find ourselves in new relationships, not wanting to make the mistakes we made before, or treat anyone with less than honesty and respect we all deserve. I’m learning as I go…and this is a lesson I needed to live and […]

EMOTIONAL SAFETY FOR OUR KIDS Damaging Our Kids How much damage are we doing to our own kids? You may think that it is only your toxic partner that is hurting them, but you will be surprised to find that you are perhaps adding to that damage too. “I was SO wrapped up in trying […]

I JUST WANT TO BE ME. I don’t want to be your therapist. I don’t want to be your emotional validator. I don’t want to be your hero, your savior, your goddess or god. I don’t want to be your mother. I don’t want to be your father. I don’t want to be responsible for […]

THE NARCISSIST’S CONSTANT VICTIM ROLE Covert narcissists are constant victims. Everyone has done them wrong. Everyone has injured their precious ego at some point or another. The whole world is responsible for their anger, negativity, lack of initiative, lack of motivation, and even their lack of empathy. From the tiniest injury to the grandest, the […]

How the Covert Narcissist Plays Rejection, Abandonment, and Abuse My marriage lasted almost 21 years. For most of these years, I convinced myself and the world that I had the perfect marriage. We were simply great together. There was no other option available. The mind is powerful and can do amazing things. I truly believed […]