We are Not Allowed to be Human A covert narcissist’s humanness hangs all out for you to see. They seem to not have a care in the world about what you or the kids think of them. My ex spent all of his non-working hours with his feet up, playing video games and watching movies. […]
Discovery & Recovery
FORGIVENESS MAY NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS Among abuse survivors, I hear a lot of debate over whether we should forgive our abuser or not. In fact, this is often a heated topic. Some victims think that the only way to heal is through forgiving your abuser. Then you can let go and […]
Single Life…just what is it? Google defines ‘single’ as; only one, not one of several, unmarried or not involved in a stable sexual relationship. Yup, that pretty much sums it up, but what does it feel like when you have to own it? Reminds me of that damned roller coaster. The slammed-to-the-back-tug when you pull […]
LIFE WITH A NARCISSIST: AN EXHAUSTION LIKE NO OTHER My 18-year old son recently said to me, “Mom, no marriage is perfect and no individual is perfect. Sure. And if only you had done “XYZ…ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVW” then maybe your marriage to dad could have possibly worked. But he couldn’t even do “A” so there is no […]
TWO SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE TOOLS FOR HEALING THE PAIN OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE Do you feel that narcissism is everywhere? The red flags of narcissistic abuse are all around us. Even the very word “narcissism” is plastered all over the internet. We are seeing the effects of the abuse in ourselves, our kids, other family members, […]
Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]
7 COMMON THINGS THE NARCISSIST SAYS TO UNDERMINE YOU Narcissistic people are extremely skilled at making you doubt yourself. They can turn the most confident person in the world into a messy ball of insecurity. Without even realizing it happened! All of sudden you realize that you are doubting every thought you have, every word […]
A young woman, two generations younger and half a world away suggested I write a Q & A Blog for survivors. She’s still picking eggshells and gravel out of her feet after a bad breakup with a narcissist, but she’s out. She’s right, it would be encouraging and informative to hear from other survivors. Am hoping […]
By Alex Delon, author of LEAVING YOU….for me. alexdelon.com An answer to the above question posted on Quora.com: I reached that point a few months after my Medicare card arrived…after 47.5 years of marriage…four days after a walk on the boardwalk to watch a dazzling sunset, a wildly intimate weekend where we toasted […]
by Alex Delon alexdelon.com Beginning again after an abusive relationship is an adventure. We may find ourselves in new relationships, not wanting to make the mistakes we made before, or treat anyone with less than honesty and respect we all deserve. I’m learning as I go…and this is a lesson I needed to live and […]
I JUST WANT TO BE ME. I don’t want to be your therapist. I don’t want to be your emotional validator. I don’t want to be your hero, your savior, your goddess or god. I don’t want to be your mother. I don’t want to be your father. I don’t want to be responsible for […]
How the Covert Narcissist Plays Rejection, Abandonment, and Abuse My marriage lasted almost 21 years. For most of these years, I convinced myself and the world that I had the perfect marriage. We were simply great together. There was no other option available. The mind is powerful and can do amazing things. I truly believed […]
The Sting of Covert Narcissism Covert narcissism is messed up! It is so twisted you feel like you are going insane just trying to get a grasp on what’s going on. It is so hard to pinpoint and impossible to describe. You can’t possibly explain it to someone who hasn’t experienced it themselves. Trying to […]
Living Like a Blind Fool You stomped all over my feelings, Smashing them again and again, Like a bull, thrashing in a China shop. No awareness and no remorse. Living like a blind fool. I forgave you, though apologies never came, Blaming myself again and again, Like a mouse, afraid of my own feelings. […]
No Reconciliation Ever with a Narcissist In relationships, you are certainly going to upset each other from time to time. You are going to hurt each other’s feelings. You are going to upset each other. This is a very normal part of life. Knowing this is true, however, caused me for years to justify what […]
Others have it much worse than me, shouldn’t I just be grateful? A Recurring Perspective One perspective that keeps surfacing from my readers goes something like this, “I read other people’s stories and hear the nightmares they are living. Physical abuse, alcohol and drugs, sex addiction and cheating. Mine simply isn’t that bad. Sure, he […]
What Happens when a Narcissist Tries to “Fix” that Broken Relationship? When does a relationship with a narcissist get worse? When that narcissist decides that they must “fix” the relationship. When they decide to “take charge” of making things right. This is a disaster! What Does “Fix” the Relationship Mean to a Narcissist? It means: […]
Why do narcissists give only misery? They seem to have the best of intentions. They say they love you. They say they want what is best for you. They say they want peace and happiness with you. Yet, everyone is miserable. Why?? You can only really give that which you have. If all you have […]
Sometimes We Stay for Our Kids…..At Least For A While I am right now at the point of making the single hardest decision I have ever made. Do I stay or do I leave? Do I file for divorce or do I keep putting it off? This is NOT an easy decision. It is one […]
Narcissists: Is it Okay to Love Them and Still Walk Away? Absolutely YES!!! I hear so many people questioning themselves about walking away from abusive relationships. If this is you, please read on. First let me say, I fully recognize that narcissists and abusive partners can definitely be male or female. For the ease of […]