Renee, thank you for your advice on what to say. I am just starting the divorce. I agreed to uncontested because he started trying to set up residency in Washington State. He has threatened me with seeking alimony after he voluntarily quit his job! He is the one that had the girlfriend that was 32 years younger than him. He blames me for that also! Anyway, I have agreed to uncontested and now he is threatening to still contest just to cause me financial problems. I am hopeful that by rephrasing things as you suggested I will be able to get this done with little hassle. I am 62 and feel afraid at this age to start over again.
ROR – how is it going? Please remember that you are getting your life back! You are not entirely starting over. You have so much greater knowledge and strength now than before. You are simply entering a new phase!
I just joined minutes ago…so glad to find this page. FB posting has made me nervous sometimes and other times, I would post what I wanted in N-support groups only to go back later and delete them.
These damn N’s are everywhere.
Took me a while to piece things together about my husband but as the months went by, I was sickened even further to realize how many friends I had had in my life over the years who were coverts, I guess I didn’t mind the overts as much or maybe I was just used to them as my crazy friends, many of them in the performance world, but the coverts! They have really done a number on me and I am looking at my family of origin too as I learn all this.
My husband of only 3 years has really ruined it all for me. What a convoluted insane reality it has been…and yet, here’ where I am sick and still need healing…I still love him. Ugh!
Hi, I turned 50 in November and have just joined this group. I have been married for 20 years. It’s been an awful 20 years, except for my children who are 21 and 19. My husband is controlling and manipulative. For many years I tried to prove that I am trustworthy to him. -Haha how crazy that seems now. I always put it on myself-I’m so stupid, if I would have said that differently, if i wouldn’t have spent so much…..he would trust me. He farms, my name isn’t even on our home. He gets people to willingly do things for him even though there is a sense of manipulation going on. My oldest-daughter- is aware of what is going on, but my son is so much under his control it’s heartbreaking. That is the biggest reason I have not left him sooner. I want to have both my children out, or at the very least aware of what he does. I feel so helpless and unsure of what to do.
I’m here too. Over 50 and over 20 years with a narc husband. Divorced 2019.
I’m 50 and coming up on 22 years of marriage. We have known each other (started as friends) since we were both 18. Dated, off and on, since we were in our early 20s. One adult child still lives at home with us as he’s in training for his new career. I am in the early planning stages and the dishonesty act I must put on right now is soooooo hard. Feels like my house has loose LEGO and eggshell flooring. UGH.
I’m thankful and grateful to have found this group. Much to share and much to learn. Oh, do I wish I knew then what I know now, though.
54, not married but been w covert narc for 11 years. I am still getting the courage to leave. I’m not sure why it’s so terrifying but it is.