Covert, Altruistic Narcissist Parent

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  • #599

      I would love to hear from others who have such a seemingly loving, do-gooder parent that not only would most people never believe they are abusers but you even struggle to keep yourself convinced.

      It would help in validating in my belief that she is a narc, as I’m constantly doubting myself.

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    • #652195

        I used to believe (I think most people do) that if you go no contact you *have to* just permanently stay that way because that is what “no contact” means.
        Now I know that “no contact” rules can be changed or broken or altered to suit the situation if necessary, but there will presumably always still have to be rules. Whether you go no contact or they do or both, there are actually some circumstances where you can let them come back, under your rules and under your terms. (Not theirs.) Waiting for people to apologize (like your dad did) is obviously not so suitable either. (Your poor dad had a very sad life. Even if he was actually funny sometimes.) But the wise people know that the old rules can be broken and new rules can be made. There will always have to be rules in these kinds of cases. But you can use the time apart to think of *which* rules you should have. And then enforce them as necessary or as you see fit, later on.
        And you did.
        Good for you.
        Good job.
        Now moving on with life.
        And good job with that too.

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