Guilt Manipulation: A Powerful Tool of Covert Narcissists

Many of us are raised to feel guilty when we have done something we shouldn’t have or that hurts someone we love. Guilt is a natural feeling, and this is not a bad thing. Guilt is an uncomfortable feeling inside, and it motivates us. It drives to apologize and reconcile. We want to make amends […]

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The Blame-Shame Nonsense Game

That people are quick to hurl blame and shame in the guise of accountability is often nonsense and cruel. The Blame “It takes two, you know.” I got that one from a friend when I told her my husband was having another affair and I’d left him. She frosted her remark with, “Well, he always […]

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CODEPENDENTS TAKE THE RAP?

Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]

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3 Questions for Survivors of Emotional Abusive Relationships

A young woman, two generations younger and half a world away suggested I write a Q & A Blog for survivors. She’s still picking eggshells and gravel out of her feet after a bad breakup with a narcissist, but she’s out. She’s right, it would be encouraging and informative to hear from other survivors. Am hoping […]

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What Are the Worst Things About Life With a Narcissist?

We adapt: to their tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving you back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty towards you…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the […]

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