Unreasonable Expectations of Narcissists Excessive admiration! Automatic compliance! Ideal love! Favorable treatment! Constant recognition of their “specialness!” These are only a few of the expectations that a person with narcissistic personality disorder carries. Their sense of entitlement supports their unrealistic expectations. They expect to be worshiped. They expect unreasonable admiration and compliance to their every […]
Could a thing like Object Relations Theory be a clue to understanding why communicating with a narcissistic individual can spin us in dizzy circles? I read an article by Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a real deal specialist in defining and diagnosing baffling character disorders. The article magnetized puzzle pieces to fit, explain, clear the mist of […]
Our Garage Door Got Quieter: A Small Victory that Means So Much People often ask me, “Why does it take SO long to recover from narcissistic abuse?” They might be weeks, months, or even years out of the relationship and yet still feel beaten down and void of energy. Narcissistic abuse takes a huge toll […]
I have never doubted myself so much in my entire life as I did in and after my 21 year marriage to a covert narcissist. Why could I not feel happy in the relationship? Why did I struggle so much to even communicate with him? What was I doing wrong? Was all of this really […]
Fight For Yourself…For Your Kids When I married my husband, I was clueless about all of this. I had never even heard the word narcissism. I had no clue what emotional abuse was. Words like gaslighting, projection, and circular conversations were not a part of my vocabulary. I was madly in love and truly thought […]
Many of us are raised to feel guilty when we have done something we shouldn’t have or that hurts someone we love. Guilt is a natural feeling, and this is not a bad thing. Guilt is an uncomfortable feeling inside, and it motivates us. It drives to apologize and reconcile. We want to make amends […]
We are Not Allowed to be Human A covert narcissist’s humanness hangs all out for you to see. They seem to not have a care in the world about what you or the kids think of them. My ex spent all of his non-working hours with his feet up, playing video games and watching movies. […]
FORGIVENESS MAY NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS Among abuse survivors, I hear a lot of debate over whether we should forgive our abuser or not. In fact, this is often a heated topic. Some victims think that the only way to heal is through forgiving your abuser. Then you can let go and […]
That people are quick to hurl blame and shame in the guise of accountability is often nonsense and cruel. The Blame “It takes two, you know.” I got that one from a friend when I told her my husband was having another affair and I’d left him. She frosted her remark with, “Well, he always […]
Imagine a dog that has been neglected. It lives in a home with an owner. The potential for love and care is there, but yet it doesn’t exist. The dog is ignored most of the time. When it does manage to grab the attention of the owner, the owner is mean and harsh. He yells […]