Should we go another round? Stats suggest that we leave an emotionally and/or physically abusive relationship 7 times before we leave for good. That said, there appears to be seven rounds in abusive relationship bouts. Which indicates we answer the above question with a whispered “Yes” and we try yet again approximately S E V […]
Nature-Nurture and Wa La…the Narcissist?
Could a thing like Object Relations Theory be a clue to understanding why communicating with a narcissistic individual can spin us in dizzy circles? I read an article by Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a real deal specialist in defining and diagnosing baffling character disorders. The article magnetized puzzle pieces to fit, explain, clear the mist of […]
Still Doubting Yourself after Narcissistic Abuse
I have never doubted myself so much in my entire life as I did in and after my 21 year marriage to a covert narcissist. Why could I not feel happy in the relationship? Why did I struggle so much to even communicate with him? What was I doing wrong? Was all of this really […]
Reconciliation or Alienation: How Conflict is Handled Speaks Volumes
Reconciliation or Alienation: How Conflict is Handled Speaks Volumes Every person alive has offended and upset the people they love most. We all do it. Just because someone has upset you or offended you does not make them a toxic person or a narcissist. Do not place this judgment here! You need to go a […]
Guilt Manipulation: A Powerful Tool of Covert Narcissists
Many of us are raised to feel guilty when we have done something we shouldn’t have or that hurts someone we love. Guilt is a natural feeling, and this is not a bad thing. Guilt is an uncomfortable feeling inside, and it motivates us. It drives to apologize and reconcile. We want to make amends […]
We are Not Allowed to be Human
We are Not Allowed to be Human A covert narcissist’s humanness hangs all out for you to see. They seem to not have a care in the world about what you or the kids think of them. My ex spent all of his non-working hours with his feet up, playing video games and watching movies. […]
Perspective: The Effect of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic Abuse and Your Perspective When you change your perspective, everything changes!! I am realizing more and more how true this statement is. Your perspective is everything. Your perspective tells you: Whether something is a big deal or not Whether you should be offended by something or not Whether something is your fault or not […]
The Blame-Shame Nonsense Game
That people are quick to hurl blame and shame in the guise of accountability is often nonsense and cruel. The Blame “It takes two, you know.” I got that one from a friend when I told her my husband was having another affair and I’d left him. She frosted her remark with, “Well, he always […]
What Are You Waiting For?
I didn’t admit it until now, as I read a great love story. Even though it had a tragic ending, he loved her with all his heart and she him. She was loved back. I spent over 47 years with a man who was not capable of loving me back, but I didn’t know it. […]
Breadcrumbs of Love from a Narcissist
Imagine a dog that has been neglected. It lives in a home with an owner. The potential for love and care is there, but yet it doesn’t exist. The dog is ignored most of the time. When it does manage to grab the attention of the owner, the owner is mean and harsh. He yells […]