Waking Up, a guest post by Donna Shin, MSLCPC Does something feel off? Is your intuition or your body waving red flags at you to slow down and pay attention? I know for me, very early in my relationship with an, unknown at the time, covert narcissist, I started feeling unwell at times. It was […]
Going Crazy Because of Covert Narcissism?
Trying to explain covert narcissism to someone who has not lived it is enough to make you feel entirely crazy! As if living the nightmare of the relationships isn’t enough! The conversation with that friend usually goes something like this: Me: I am having a really tough time communicating with him. Friend: Why? Me: He […]
Should We Give Our Narcissistic Ex Another Chance?
Should we go another round? Stats suggest that we leave an emotionally and/or physically abusive relationship 7 times before we leave for good. That said, there appears to be seven rounds in abusive relationship bouts. Which indicates we answer the above question with a whispered “Yes” and we try yet again approximately S E V […]
Stop Relationship Boundary Battles…
I was never good at setting boundaries. They were aggressive and that’s not how to handle a hot-headed narcissistic man or woman. Shortly after I walked away we signed an agreement not to spend over a certain dollar amount without consent from both of us, not to sell assets, that kind of thing. Those boundaries […]
Nature-Nurture and Wa La…the Narcissist?
Could a thing like Object Relations Theory be a clue to understanding why communicating with a narcissistic individual can spin us in dizzy circles? I read an article by Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a real deal specialist in defining and diagnosing baffling character disorders. The article magnetized puzzle pieces to fit, explain, clear the mist of […]
To Leave a Narcissist, Do We Feel Like a Narcissist?
In a Narcissistic relationship, do we have to be like them to leave them? This isn’t a trick question. If you even considered it leaving a narcissist…you get it. The narcissist wouldn’t identify something they did as “Narcissistic”. Ever. Their defense mechanisms would kick in to justify their actions as they projected the blame unto […]
The Narcissist’s Inner Circle
Friends—Codependents—or are the narcissist’s inner circle of friends the Duped and Dangerous? The narcissist often collects a covey of opposite sex friends…close friends…women or men they no longer–or may never have had sex with. Why? Who are these pals? Why do they hover around him? What need or desire do these mental mistresses or misters […]
Guilt Manipulation: A Powerful Tool of Covert Narcissists
Many of us are raised to feel guilty when we have done something we shouldn’t have or that hurts someone we love. Guilt is a natural feeling, and this is not a bad thing. Guilt is an uncomfortable feeling inside, and it motivates us. It drives to apologize and reconcile. We want to make amends […]