This morning a woman on Facebook stirred memories of those first months after I left my husband of 47 years. When we finally leave a narcissistic relationship, we can be pretty broken and emotionally battered. Not at the top of our game for sure. Leaving isn’t the fulfillment of our dream, it’s a last resort […]
Drop the Weight of Narcissistic Abuse I can’t keep carrying this load! I’m tired! I’m exhausted! My shoulders hurt. My neck hurts. My back hurts. My head hurts. My heart hurts!I am collapsing under this load. For my own sanity’s sake, I have to set this load down. I can’t carry all this pain anymore. […]
Our Garage Door Got Quieter: A Small Victory that Means So Much People often ask me, “Why does it take SO long to recover from narcissistic abuse?” They might be weeks, months, or even years out of the relationship and yet still feel beaten down and void of energy. Narcissistic abuse takes a huge toll […]
I have never doubted myself so much in my entire life as I did in and after my 21 year marriage to a covert narcissist. Why could I not feel happy in the relationship? Why did I struggle so much to even communicate with him? What was I doing wrong? Was all of this really […]
Reconciliation or Alienation: How Conflict is Handled Speaks Volumes Every person alive has offended and upset the people they love most. We all do it. Just because someone has upset you or offended you does not make them a toxic person or a narcissist. Do not place this judgment here! You need to go a […]
Whatever Happened to Self-Compassion? Somewhere along the way, we have completely lost touch with self-compassion. If we feel sorry for ourselves or spend some time taking care of ourselves, we are often overwhelmed with guilt and shame. We think we are being selfish and should be spending our time caring for others. Or we think […]
Fight For Yourself…For Your Kids When I married my husband, I was clueless about all of this. I had never even heard the word narcissism. I had no clue what emotional abuse was. Words like gaslighting, projection, and circular conversations were not a part of my vocabulary. I was madly in love and truly thought […]
Many of us are raised to feel guilty when we have done something we shouldn’t have or that hurts someone we love. Guilt is a natural feeling, and this is not a bad thing. Guilt is an uncomfortable feeling inside, and it motivates us. It drives to apologize and reconcile. We want to make amends […]
We are Not Allowed to be Human A covert narcissist’s humanness hangs all out for you to see. They seem to not have a care in the world about what you or the kids think of them. My ex spent all of his non-working hours with his feet up, playing video games and watching movies. […]
FORGIVENESS MAY NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS Among abuse survivors, I hear a lot of debate over whether we should forgive our abuser or not. In fact, this is often a heated topic. Some victims think that the only way to heal is through forgiving your abuser. Then you can let go and […]