At what what stage in your life did you realize, “No, I can’t do this anymore,” and walk out? Why?

By Alex Delon, author of LEAVING YOU….for me.        alexdelon.com
An answer to the above question posted on Quora.com: 
I reached that point a few months after my Medicare card arrived…after 47.5 years of marriage…four days after a walk on the boardwalk to watch a dazzling sunset, a wildly intimate weekend where we toasted to starting over after his most recent affair. Again.

Four days after that weekend he charged dinner with his girlfriend to his credit card and I mustered the courage to look at the online statement. Always could. Never had. I didn’t snap, I shifted lanes, gears and direction.

It may be the last trimester of my life, but I determined to change not him, but me. Through studying, writing and publishing a revealing, sassy memoir, LEAVING YOU…for me, I healed. Day by day, year by year.

That was four and half years ago. I’ll be seventy in four months and am having the time of my life. I have a yoga class this evening, a Meetup group happy hour tomorrow night, boating the bays near San Diego with a group of 12 the next day…and so it goes. I keep both a paper and online calendar to keep up.

It’s never too late to begin again.

My best wishes to all.

Alex Delon

4 comments on “At what what stage in your life did you realize, “No, I can’t do this anymore,” and walk out? Why?

  1. I watched my mother-in-law in law die a slow painful death while my narcissistic father-in-law continued on with fifty odd years of emotionally abusing her right up until the day that she died.
    His only concern about his wife’s terminal cancer was, “who will take care of me when she is dead?”

    My ex was just like his dad. I had been sick and dependent on him before and he was useless and seemed to enjoy my suffering. I realized that I did not want to risk facing old age and death with an abuser that I could no longer escape.

    So I started counting down to my sons graduation and when my son was safely out of the house, I left.

    • I am so glad that you realized the abuse that was going on and got out of the situation. I hope that you and your child(ren) are on a solid path of healing! I wish you much peace.

      • I’m currently in the process of making a smooth transition to live alone. Truthfully, I wanted to end the marriage before I was enlightened with the knowledge that he was a Covert Narcissist and a Passive Aggressive Sociopath. He has some other type of mental health disorder that I have not been able to identify. No body else has either been able to pin point the 3rd. My decision to leave once and for all came after he sabotaged me once again. One thing true about the CN is they definitely like to trip you up and see you fail or ruin your personal belongings. I am looking forward to being away from all the drama and confusion. Even more I won’t have to tolerate the fits of anger & rage he makes a regular part of his life.

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