Sammie

[Sammie]

Emma
I don’t know how long or if a certain amount of time can be placed on different aspects of having to live with a CN. I do know that if you have high standards, respect for yourself, operate on truth and integrity you won’t pick up the actions or the vocabulary of the CN. For me at one point I did immediately notice that I was about to mimic his actions. I since then have had to make a conscious effort to not let him influence me in anyway. The last thing I don’t want is to find that I have lost myself in his miserable existence. If that was to happen that would mean they won their sick game. Blessings!

[Sammie]

Yesterday was another disappointing experience. Try as I may, not letting things affect me on an emotional level is far more difficult than one realizes..
I have been striving to find activities for Isaiah and I (Isaiah is my Grandson) where we can break free from the hum drum and have quality time together. I especially want to make sure Isaiah has plenty of time to reflect and come to terms with the loss of his Momma. I had everything ready to go. As we were pulling out of the driveway I noticed there was something wrong with the steering system. I stopped and got out of the car. Well, so much for our adventure. There was not just one flat tire but all 4 tires were flat. I certainly don’t have to elaborate on this. Here I go again another day the Narcissist wins! To all reading this. Have a happy and blessed Mother’s Day!
Sammie

[Sammie]

I’m happy for you getting out. I am close to that milestone. Sometimes I don’t think I can look at him one more day. I was so deeply in love at one time, now I can hardly stand being in the same room. To look at him I feel disgusted from all the things he has done to me. I am going into 25 years and 23 of them are marriage. I feel angry at myself for allowing it to go on this long.. Good luck on your journey to healing. Blessings!

[Sammie]

I was listening to videos about Narcissist, Psychopaths, and Sociopaths. The three are so mingled in similarities it’s hard to distinguish each. All three don’t have compassion and to top it off they don’t think anything is wrong or different about them. I was hoping to find information about the destructive Narcissist and the origin. What causes the abnormalities or were they born with that type of personality. Or if it is even a personality. I have definitely seen a different behavior. For example the way my Narcissist talks and interacts with other people compared to his interactions with me. His approach is completely different. He talks normal to others. He follows through with what he says. He obviously can control his self but wants me to believe otherwise. That must be just another game or tactic to try and hurt me with. Narcissist are amazing people in the worst kind of way.

[Sammie]

Hello Renee,
I wanted to touch bases with you about a couple other areas that concern the Narcissist and their covert ways. First, I wonder what it is that they (mine in particular) see in you which causes them to pursue you. Second, When a situation would ultimately benefit them, they will still do things to sabotage the person? Third, is there any time the real person they are or could be available? Fourth, do they conceal everything about them or mask themselves to who they want to be? Fifth, why do they constantly have to have their eyes on “their victim” , wife etc..?
The bases to my questions are; I was independently single and had been for 12 years. I was not interested in a relationship, period. He pursued me hard.
I have over the course of the marriage initiated several things. One was a small business working from home. Went to on line college for an Associates degree. I worked on line to get 2 state insurance licenses to sell insurance. He worked overtime doing things to cause me to fail. I was mentally exhausted and frustrated to no end so I stopped the small business. I barely finished my degree. I did graduate but felt like all my brain cells were close to burn out. I did finish the State licensees for life & disability but by the time I completed I had no energy left. There are times that I see a loving caring person but it does not last long. I notice often that he will mimic someone else. Well, most of the time he is like an actor on stage performing. Pertaining to the last question. Our home is circular and arranged fairly comfortable. I watch his behavior and I see that he will sit where he can watch everything I do. Like if I am cooking or busy doing laundry etc..
The answer to your questions. Yes, in the past he has been arrested and had no contact orders. The Judge sent him to anger management and other classes he went through. He manipulated the Judge and dragged me into one of those classes. Then like art work he shifted the whole thing around where the finger pointed to me. This was all before I learned about His psychosis. Oh by the way I spent 29 years working in nursing and I have 2 minors one in psychology and the other chemistry. I met him when I was 32. There are no children. My daughter got breast cancer and passed away at 24.
I appreciate that you are knowledgeable as I am just learning about Narcissist. When I was in college they taught that Narcissist was a overly conceited female who was in love with herself and her image.

Thank you,
Sammie

[Sammie]

Hey Renee, The situation is far worse than one could imagine. Having your life and the material things attached that makes you unique has absolutely no value to the Narcissist other than being useful weapons to hurt you once again. Prior to the knowledge that has redefined my life I was close to a mental breakdown of mass proportions. Largely because I developed my own hypothesis about the universe totally against me. I was clueless that the man I just had sex with was the same man poking holes in my clothing and urinating on my blankets and pillows. While I was on the brink of shutting down mentally there were 4 or 5 major incidents/accidents that could have taken my life or the loss of a limb. At that time I was never fearful for my safety and well-being. Now that Narcissism is revealed I am constantly in a state of fear because these were preplanned. Not mere accidents or happen to be a coincidence. I am still in the marriage and have not been able to financially get out. I have several options that involve me staying with others and that I will not do because it would put them in harms way. Food for thought.. are all Narcissist this physically destructive? I have not found any articles on this behavior.
Sammie

[Sammie]

Yes, I am in your age group. I am planning a vicious divorce from the Narcissist in my life. I can’t wait to see the dumb fuck look on his face when he realizes I’m done. He likes to ruin my things. He puts holes in my clothes and stains them or they come up completely missing. He gets this weird satisfaction from ruining my clothing. He throws my bras away or causes the wire to come out and poke me.
In fact he has ruined most of my clothing on purpose.
Does the narcissist in your life ruin your clothes?
Sammie

[Author]

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