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Loved* not lived. Lost son*, not list Don. Apologies for autocorrect.
I too, lost my son. He blamed me for not being a good enough wife. Believed his father. He stayed with me for a year after, but he kept getting meaner towards me. Eventually attacked me over being asked to do the dishes. I had no choice. I sent him to his father. Now he sounds just like him. The thing is, I’ve always been the parent that lived and supported him, even rescued him from his fathers wrath. He made his choices. At 15, I let him go. Huge loss. But now, my other two have peace. There’s peace in the home. I try to live on my list Don over the phone, but it’s strained. I hope one day he sees, but it doesn’t seem likely. To me, he’s just another casualty of this war.
I started with five children. One died in my arms. Then my adopted16 yr old daughter went missing. That was nearly three years ago now. Still missing. Now my son chose him.
And the hardest thing for me right now, the thing that sticks in my craw, is that he has lied, and poisoned nearly everyone I’ve ever known against me. I’ve lost them all. It’s so unjust. So cruel. We met at age 11. Every friend from my past… every friend from the present, his entire family that I’ve lived for our 24 years of marriage. All gone. And top it all off… he was a Pastor. So I’m pissed at God too.