Take Time for You

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  • #602
    Renee Swanson

    I get concerned when I see victims of abuse move quickly into another relationship. Please take time for you first!! I don’t mean a few days or even a few weeks. Healing takes months and sometimes years.
    My divorce was final almost 3 months ago. My marriage was almost 21 years, and he is extremely covert narcissistic. My therapist suggested at least 1 – 2 years before I even consider another relationship. I think he is absolutely right!! Every day I find deeper and deeper levels of pain and hurt inside me. I am carrying intense amounts of shame over why I didn’t see it, why I allowed my kids to suffer so, and why I could not stop the abuse. I am finding shame from my own childhood that I didn’t even know was there.
    As I work through all this pain, I become stronger every single day. To rush into a relationship right now would be disastrous. It would interfere with my own healing journey. True happiness can only come from within us. It is my deep desire to find my own true happiness within.
    If I turn to another relationship to be happy, then I may never find it within myself. I believe this is why the cycle of abuse continues so often. People go from one abusive relationship to another. STOP! Take time for yourself first! Learn to be happy in you. Then find someone who is happy in them. Together you can enjoy life!

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