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I can so relate to the abandonment. We were married for 36 years had 4 wonderful children and he abandoned us really from the beginning. I refused to see it, but now having divorced him a year ago, I see it clear as day. My adult children tell me they always felt dad wasn’t there. Like Renee, he was rarely present with us. We would watch movies with him and if we weren’t extremely quiet, he would threaten to leave the room, and many times did. He always needed time to himself.My family would visit and on numerous occasions amid the talking, laughing, eating and drinking, my ex would be nowhere to be found. I’d go up to our room and there he’d be sleep. We had so many fights about it. After I divorced him, my then 17 yo said mom, it’s about time, dad has never really been with us. No matter what we did, I always felt like was somewhere else. It brought me to tears. My other three children later agreed. Because we’d had an argument the evening our 1st granddaughter was born, he refused to go to the hospital. We were all so heartbroken.My daughter told me she was not surprised by her dad’s actions though it hurt her so. Five years before I filed for divorce, he told me he was miserable in our marriage and no longer wanted to be husband to me or father to our children.I was flabbergasted, in disbelief, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My mom and dad were together for 44 years until dad died! My dad taught me a man does whatever it takes to take care of his family. My ex’s words were foreign to me. A real man would never say such a thing! So, being the Christian woman that I am, I vowed to fix it. I begged, pleaded, got therapy, and even humiliated myself in front of our children asking him to work on us. To get counseling to not end our 3 decade marriage. If not for me, for our kids sake. Things only worsened. He moved out of our bedroom to the loft couch, and shunned me off and on for months at a time. After much prayer, and counseling, I felt my only option was to divorce him. Today, though he lives in the same city, he refuses to have any communication with me or the children.I know abandonment all too well.