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Hi, I turned 50 in November and have just joined this group. I have been married for 20 years. It’s been an awful 20 years, except for my children who are 21 and 19. My husband is controlling and manipulative. For many years I tried to prove that I am trustworthy to him. -Haha how crazy that seems now. I always put it on myself-I’m so stupid, if I would have said that differently, if i wouldn’t have spent so much…..he would trust me. He farms, my name isn’t even on our home. He gets people to willingly do things for him even though there is a sense of manipulation going on. My oldest-daughter- is aware of what is going on, but my son is so much under his control it’s heartbreaking. That is the biggest reason I have not left him sooner. I want to have both my children out, or at the very least aware of what he does. I feel so helpless and unsure of what to do.