1,2,4,7, and to a lesser extent, 5 and 6.
Experienced by me with a particular person.
Possible reasons for this might include:
ADHD, dyslexia, bipolar, borderline, borderline with narcissistic tendencies, migraine disorder, and being abused or neglected or not receiving enough love or enough appropriate teaching or guidance about communication and people and life.
1 and 2 are especially strong.
Read your first few sentences and was already thinking “good grief, that’s her” or possibly all of the above.
In my view, people who do approximately half of these, but do certainly show *some* consideration for others and *some* appreciation for others’ point of view at least *sometimes*, and who above all do really seem like they *can’t* communicate rather than won’t, are probably *not* narcissists and may well *actually* have learning disorders and/or autism spectrum disorders (instead of just pretending to or seeming to).
When the diagnosis matters.
When there’s a real chance that the person really could have a brain disorder (or maybe more than one) which affects communication, and when you can actually get them to go to a professional and get diagnosed.
Which probably isn’t often, as far as that last part.
I do strongly suspect that *for some people* the actual original problem is that their brain disorder (or maybe more than one) is harmfully affecting their communication skills, which is in turn harmfully affecting their people skills, which is in turn harmfully affecting their friendships and relationships, of which they somehow seem to have no clue because *something* (which could be a brain disorder, or something else, or both) is preventing them from understanding that the problem is actually even their own.
The kind of people I’m thinking of, I believe that they genuinely don’t understand.
Somewhat depending on what their other symptoms and circumstances are, of course.
Also. The exact same people may believe that *you* are tricking them, gaslighting them, using circular reasoning/circular logic with them, etc.
And they probably sincerely believe it.
I’ve experienced *that* kind of thing plenty and it sure is frustrating. (Most of it with one person over the course of many years.)
Never did experience any *deliberate* gaslighting, that I know of, but *finally* found out just this year that it doesn’t have to be deliberate and that *anyone* can do it. (Not just people who have disorders. Anybody.)
In theory, at least, I could accidentally gaslight her, she could accidentally gaslight me, we could *both* make each other doubt our reason or our sanity or our common sense, and it does not even have to be on purpose.
Interesting theory.
Could be true.