CiCi Walite

[CiCi Walite]

Thank you for this response, Renee. It helps to hear from someone else who acknowledges the wounds of their CN (ex)partner, and how hard it is to walk away when you know how much pain they’re in – even if they don’t realize their pain. For me, it’s exacerbated by the fact that I am a psychotherapist, and I help so many people get healthier – just not my own husband. Breaks my heart. But if I stay, there will only be more brokenness for my children and me, so I’ve got to find the strength to stand strong.

[CiCi Walite]

I know that all of my children are dealing with several of these types of damage. It’s so hard to accept that I allowed them to be emotionally abused for as long as I did. Now that I’ve stopped enabling my CN husband, I’m now struggling with enabling my children in the effort to counter some of the emotional scarring they’ve suffered. I do establish boundaries for them, but I cave so easily, and I rarely enforce negative consequences, because my husband ONLY used punishment and negative consequences to discipline.

I’ve got to be more assertive with my expectations and consequences, while still being liberal with affection and positive communication. It’s a delicate balance when all of use are still so raw and anxious.

[Author]

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