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I also feel terrible because my youngest daughter feels bad for daddy and does not want him to be left alone. I feel bad about the idea of him being alone also. I am afraid he would do something crazy as he already struggles with depression and substance abuse. He is going to a counselor and psychiatrist and started antidepressant/antianxiety meds a few months ago. It took the edge off of his rage but brought out the passive aggressive behavior. It seems both impossible to stay and impossible to leave.
Thank you for this. Although my husband is a functioning alcoholic and former/occasional drug user it always seemed like it could be worse. He is manipulative and we walk on eggshells. Our home is a constant emotional roller coaster. But he has never hit me. So I have always made excuses for him. He has always swung back from the monster to being overly nice just enough for me to forgive him one more time. I am trying to make a plan and be strong enough not to fall back in every time he begs me to stay. We have been married for almost 18 years and we have 5 kids together. Ages 10,12,13,15 and 17. My 15 year old son has been a type one diabetic for 13 years. I graduated from nursing school this May and I am waiting to take my board exam and start working and saving but it is so hard to still share a home with him knowing I want a divorce. He talks about our future all the time and I see no future with him. I just want to be single and raise our children in a sane home.