Thank you so much for your reply, Renee.

Thank you for sharing your story. It is really validating to hear your words.
I think this M.O. makes this so much more difficult to come to terms with labeling someone like this an abuser. All the undeniably good things they do their displays of love and affection.

But your last words are what really makes it hit home for me in recognizing the abuse for what it is.. “No one ever felt emotionally safe, EVER, and that is abuse!!”

Thank-you for that! <3

This past weekend was my daughter’s 3rd birthday party and I never invited my mother. It is one of the most heart-wrenching, painful things for me to do. The guilt is still thick and heavy, but I do kind of feel strangely empowered. I’m taking my daughter to see my mother today for a birthday hug. But I’m glad it’s on my terms.

I never wanted to use my daughter as a pawn in personal conflicts with my mother, but I realise now that it’s for my daughter’s well being too that they do not get too close. My mother is nearing her 70’s now so I wouldn’t completely cut her off, but at least to keep the interaction on my terms.

Again thank you for this wonderful space you have offered victims to come together and share their pains and get the support they need to over-come this misunderstood form of abuse. <3