To retaliate against me for being shady and having an emotional affair he decided on Wednesday to text me that he was going away from Thursday-monday Bc he needed it. He spent $450 of our family money that I need for the mortgage for this trip (making us short on the mortgage). He went away with 2 couples and 3 other women. He stated “I‘m going away for a couple of days, I need it. And I’m sure you don’t want me around anyway.”

He’s right. I don’t want him around. But I NEED TO GET AWAY. Working full time, managing the household alone, parenting two kids all in the middle of a pandemic. I’m the one who should have gone away.
I was angry. I told him I didn’t think it was fair that he got to go away kid free For 5 days and that in the very least he should be using that money to go away with his children. Of course he blamed it on me. “Well we don’t get along and you have made it very clear we’re done otherwise I would have loved for you and the kids to come”

I’m so angry. I need to get away from this “man”. I have so much other support I could do without him but I’ve stayed because of finances and not wanting to uproot my children from their home or their school district.

While he was away I felt lighter, freer. I could do what I please without his negative energy clouding me or having him watch my every move to ensure I’m not cheating. Now he is back and I feel heavy and broken again.

I hate this.