There are so many variables you and your children will need to cope with as they grow up and circumstances change. You or your ex may become involved in a new job, location or relationship. Perhaps there are step brothers or sisters introduced into their lives. Remember, one step, one day at a time. The best you can do is be a consistent-caring parent who listens. Give yourself permission to say, "that's important, but I'd like to think about that before I respond," then be sure to follow through with the conversation once you've had time to consider how best to approach it. There are a myriad of circumstances depending upon the age of the child, living arrangements, work demands and visitation schedules. Perhaps you cannot leave the relationship and need help protecting yourself and your children. For those who separate, custody and child support battles can become hotbeds of conflict. Through it all your children need to be able to turn to and count on you. There are also certain consistencies in how you act and react that can make all the difference. *Don't try to alienate your child from their other parent, unless there is physical abuse involved. It will be tempting, may feel defensive, even gratifying at times, but hurts the child in the long run. They do need validation and will benefit from developing coping skills. *Do take time to listen to your child, but don't pump them for information or feed them responses. "You know I'm always here if you want to talk." vs "Was it an awful weekend? Did your dad or mom yell at you? I bet you missed me, didn't you?" Do be alert to changes in behavior; nail biting, teeth grinding, outbursts, detachment. *Take the High Road point of view at a distance. "Adults shouldn't yell at children," vs "Your dad or mom should never yell at you". Subtle, but important, as is validation of what your child is experiencing. First, I encourage you to search for articles on coping with a narcissistic parent. You'll need to develop strong coping stills before you can help your child.https://talkingparents.com/blog/help-your-child-cope-with-narcissistic-parent is just one link. There are many. You can chat with other parents navigating these issues by posting on the forum below and reading comments others have made. You may find the feedback invaluable. Though in the heat of many moments it may feel like it, you are not alone. You too deserve support and validation and you'll find it within Universally Us.