Drop the Weight of Narcissistic Abuse
I can’t keep carrying this load! I’m tired! I’m exhausted! My shoulders hurt. My neck hurts. My back hurts. My head hurts. My heart hurts!I am collapsing under this load.
For my own sanity’s sake, I have to set this load down. I can’t carry all this pain anymore. I have to put it down. I have to let it go. Why is this so hard to do? Why can’t I just drop it?
Let’s start by identifying it all. What is it that I am so tired of carrying?
- All the pain
- All the fear
- All the doubt
- All the anger
- All the worry
- All the insecurity
- All the guilt
- All the hopelessness
- All the grief
- All the weight
I’m tired of carrying all the responsibility of being perfect. I’m tired of trying to be perfect, pretending to be perfect, even thinking the word makes me cringe. I’m tired of carrying the weight of never being able to make a mistake.
I’m tired of living up to standards that aren’t reachable. I’m tired of living up to everyone’s expectations. I’m tired of caring what everyone else thinks of me. I’m so tired of worrying about all of it.
I’m tired of carrying the sorrows of the past. I’m tired of carrying the worries of the future. I’m just tired!!
I can’t do it anymore!! I have to set it down. My arms ache under the pressure. My knees give way under all the weight. I have to put it down. Lower and lower I bend. Almost there! I can’t take another step with this. I have to let it go.
My heart panics, “How can I let it all go?” My mind screams against me, “NO! Don’t do it!” I can’t let this go!! Everything inside me pleads with me to keep carrying it. It is familiar. It is safe. The pain defines me. How will I live without it?
But I can’t. I simply can’t. I have no more strength. Exhaustion seeps through my every cell and eats at my very core.
Bye Bye Weight
So…..HERE IT GOES!!
Clumsily and awkwardly, I drop it to the ground. I watch it crash on the floor. Whew! I did it. I let it go. I simply crawl away and leave it there. I’m free. Finally, I’m free!
Breathing is suddenly easier. My mind is numb, yet quiet. My tired muscles give way to relaxation. I don’t know how to think right now. I don’t know how to function yet. But finally, I can rest! This is my turning point, my new beginning, my journey to healing.
At some point, you have to quit carrying all the pain, all the weight. It does not define you, but it does weigh you down. Refuse to live under its weight. Let it go and be free. It’s terrifying, but so worth it! You are not alone! Many have dropped this weight before you and many more come after you.
At first you will even find yourself picking it back up. As soon as you realize it, simply set it down again. That’s all. Tell yourself, “NO! I have carried that long enough. I don’t need to carry it anymore. It is time to be free!”
Take one deep conscious breath. Feel that breath all the way into your very core. Now blow that deep breath all the way out. Watch it go. Feel it go. One simple conscious breath stops your thinking entirely, even if only for a brief moment. But that brief moment is SO vital!! SO precious!! Embrace it!
Join our Healing Time Forum to share and learn from each other how to move on with your life, how to thrive after dropping the weight.
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