Friends—Codependents—or are the narcissist’s inner circle of friends the Duped and Dangerous?
The narcissist often collects a covey of opposite sex friends…close friends…women or men they no longer–or may never have had sex with. Why? Who are these pals? Why do they hover around him? What need or desire do these mental mistresses or misters fill?
I stumbled on an article this morning that nailed it…the relationship that may have been the final nail in the coffin of my marriage to a narcissistic man. Could a marriage that spanned over four decades, too many affairs, have been taken down by a ‘friendship’ that did more damage than his sexual escapades? Could she have really been the ‘close friend’ he claimed she was?
Could my narcissistic ex really have been emotionally attached to an emotional affair? I’m not buying that he is capable of being attached to anyone, but it could have served a greater purpose than sex…since he was getting that at home and very probably with other girlfriends.
Sure, his side of the emails to her were seductive. The chase and tease was on. But her side dodged the ‘let’s get it on’ vibe. She lavished nauseating praise on him… “you’re sooooooooo amazing. Sooooooo wonderful,” to which he’d reply, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Was it simply that simple? She fed his narcissistic ego and he fed her codependent need to be needed?
I encourage you to take a look at the article that set fire to my wondering mind this morning. I’d love to hear your thoughts, whether you’re the spouse, lover or partner of the narcissist, trying to get what’s going on, or ‘the codependent gal or guy pal’ that wonders if you’re being used as an ego booster…if you’re soaking up the ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you,’ and kidding yourself that your emotional affair is a life raft for you two floundering souls who will forever be distanced by the moon and the man or women they won’t leave…even for you.
Here’s the link…don’t let the work sociopath deter you…this article is about the narcissist’s inner circle of friends.
My best wishes ever,
Alex Delon