• Thanks 4LeafClover and Renee.

    4LeafClover, keep working at your awareness of needing validation. Increasing awareness will help you to be more observant and objective, and less caught in that need. Stay connected.

    Renee, you tell the truth. I guess I know it too. Just tough to let go of the fantasy of connecting with someone. Though it is…[Read more]

  • I left something important out to my comment above.

    I mentioned at the end that I had asked for closer and deeper communication and now I realize it isn’t something I am going to get.

  • So, I’m not sure what is coming down the pipeline.

    Yesterday my husband “asked Alexa” why the notification was. Response was “Dealing with the Narcissist was delivered”.

    He said, “do you think I am a narcissist?” I mumbled, not ready to answer. He says, “I don’t even know what a narcissist is.” Somehow I avoided that conversation.

    Toda…[Read more]

  • Wende Kay, I feel happy for you. What choices do you make now that helps you create happiness? I’m 52 and looking forward to some different choices.

  • Hi Coyote!
    I am Canadian, but I currently live in San Diego. My extended family is all in Vancouver. I plan to move back there after my son graduates high school in ’21, and once I can get a new job up there. I worry how my currently planned timing will affect my son. My daughter is going to University up there right now.

    My husband knows I want…[Read more]

  • Inthemix replied to the topic Crazy-Making in the forum Covert Narcissism 1 year, 12 months ago

    I look back and realize I created some of the crazy in my relationship! When I saw that the kids were frightened of their dad when he yelled at them, I resolved to find reasons that worked for him, as to why he needed to change. I told him the kids would listen to him if he took a breath before speaking, and other adults would see him as a great…[Read more]

  • I’m not single yet, but the best advice I got from a therapist was to explore what interests ME. For the longest time I didn’t know what I wanted because I was so consumed with what he wanted. Now I have outside interests. I go to movies by myself and sit in one of those comfy chairs, I walk the dog on my own twice a day. I call friends and get a…[Read more]

  • Inthemix replied to the topic Hidden Rejection in the forum Covert Narcissism 2 years ago


    It really IS crazy-making! I feel so thankful that I have been able to separate how I respond/think within my marriage, and how I am with everyone else in my life. I focus on compartmentalizing. There was a time that I was scared that I would just create this chaos again if I was ever in a new relationship, so I’m now trying to “be me” as…[Read more]

  • Inthemix replied to the topic Hidden Rejection in the forum Covert Narcissism 2 years ago

    Wow, Renee,

    That is how my husband is. I don’t know how many times in our marriage I have said, “let me finish before you start talking please.” or “you just walked out of the room mid sentence – that is rude.” He has taken out his phone and I’ve asked him to repeat back what I just said, and he can’t.

    He has actually said to me that he doesn’t…[Read more]

  • HRC915
    In all my reading and research (and counselling) regarding narcissism, your comments are the first time I feel like someone else really does understand. Thank you.

    And I’m also sorry you are now going through this stage in your marriage / divorce. The “saving costs” sounds so familiar to me. Because of these perceived “nice guys” you and I…[Read more]

  • Thank you for this forum, and for the comments in this group so far. I have been married for 20 years to a CV, but didn’t really know what was going on (kinda thought I was crazy, as he is liked by people in social settings – I also like him in social settings when we are not speaking directly to each other:)), and my second child of two is almost…[Read more]

  • Inthemix became a registered member 2 years ago