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    I ask myself this question quite often. Am I going to be okay? Then I go through my mental list of the things I want to see manifest in my daily life. If my list turns out to be too big I immediately become overwhelmed. That’s when I re-evaluate and prioritize what is most beneficial and what is urgent. By doing this I am able to condense my list making it a lot less frightening. I use the word frightening because there are several areas in my life where I am solely motivated by fear. Now that my mental list is reduced to a level that I can manage without becoming overwhelmed I set goals for myself. Most importantly, I try to never leap into anything with out researching it first. It’s like reading the side effects before taking a medication. This way I have an idea of what to expect. Also, it simplifies the process I need to do in order to obtain my goals.
    The Narcissist I am deeply in love with is the most destructive person imaginable. What he covertly destroyed was my personal belongings. He targeted the items I adored the most. But it goes much deeper than that. He would literally get me in situations where I was in physical danger. There was absolutely no enjoyment or happiness for me in my marriage to him.
    I take what I call baby steps and as long as I keep things simple I know that I’m going to be okay.
    Thanx for letting me share.

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  • #22284
    Renee Swanson

    Hey Sammie, thanks so much for sharing!! Yes, you are going to be okay. We are all going to be okay. You are so right in what you say. Healing requires baby steps. Just like a child has to take small steps to learn how to walk. We have to take those same tiny steps to learn how to live again. Too big of steps will simply knock us off balance.
    I reached a point where all I could focus on were the basic human needs – food, clothing, shelter, and safety. I just started working on getting these. Healthy food, nutritious food, food that treated my body well. Safety was a big one. Not just physical safety but emotional and mental safety too. I had to learn to feel safe again. I had to learn to put my guard down, and that wasn’t easy. I was purposeful and deliberate. I started with 2 minutes. I set a timer and for those 2 minutes, I relaxed my guard. Deep breathing and awareness of my environment helped tremendously! But again, it was baby steps!

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