Narcissistic relationships possess unique dynamics The narcissist’s spouse isn’t necessarily blind, dumb or weak at all, when we hang in there after an affair or abuse. We adapt and are often crafty as hell. We learn to lie to ourselves more convincingly than our narcissistic spouses lie to us. There are clinical tags for we […]
In a Narcissistic relationship, do we have to be like them to leave them? This isn’t a trick question. If you even considered it leaving a narcissist…you get it. The narcissist wouldn’t identify something they did as “Narcissistic”. Ever. Their defense mechanisms would kick in to justify their actions as they projected the blame unto […]
Friends—Codependents—or are the narcissist’s inner circle of friends the Duped and Dangerous? The narcissist often collects a covey of opposite sex friends…close friends…women or men they no longer–or may never have had sex with. Why? Who are these pals? Why do they hover around him? What need or desire do these mental mistresses or misters […]
Our Garage Door Got Quieter: A Small Victory that Means So Much People often ask me, “Why does it take SO long to recover from narcissistic abuse?” They might be weeks, months, or even years out of the relationship and yet still feel beaten down and void of energy. Narcissistic abuse takes a huge toll […]
I have never doubted myself so much in my entire life as I did in and after my 21 year marriage to a covert narcissist. Why could I not feel happy in the relationship? Why did I struggle so much to even communicate with him? What was I doing wrong? Was all of this really […]
Reconciliation or Alienation: How Conflict is Handled Speaks Volumes Every person alive has offended and upset the people they love most. We all do it. Just because someone has upset you or offended you does not make them a toxic person or a narcissist. Do not place this judgment here! You need to go a […]
When we pass the torch, do we diminish our fire? Does the glow of relevance we fueled as an entrepreneur, employee, spouse, or parent flicker and fade as we relinquish these roles? You bet it does, was my initial response, yet aging always requires change; from toddlers to puberty to independence and often parenthood, to […]
Whatever Happened to Self-Compassion? Somewhere along the way, we have completely lost touch with self-compassion. If we feel sorry for ourselves or spend some time taking care of ourselves, we are often overwhelmed with guilt and shame. We think we are being selfish and should be spending our time caring for others. Or we think […]
Fight For Yourself…For Your Kids When I married my husband, I was clueless about all of this. I had never even heard the word narcissism. I had no clue what emotional abuse was. Words like gaslighting, projection, and circular conversations were not a part of my vocabulary. I was madly in love and truly thought […]
Many of us are raised to feel guilty when we have done something we shouldn’t have or that hurts someone we love. Guilt is a natural feeling, and this is not a bad thing. Guilt is an uncomfortable feeling inside, and it motivates us. It drives to apologize and reconcile. We want to make amends […]