To heal from a narcissistic relationship, it is important to understand the process. First, realize you are not alone, accept that they will not change, and decide to save yourself.
Imagine running for your life when you trip and skid face first on the asphalt. Shock. Then you take time to assess the damage. You’re probably crying, but the damage is done. So, now what? Scabs will form. Thick-crusty scabs on both your knees and the heels of your hands. Straighten your legs too quickly and they tear loose around the edges. Dishwater stings like crazy. Here is where you learn to slip your hands into rubber gloves and wrap saran around your knees before showers. Baths are out for a while. Your life is changing. You take things slower, protect yourself, and accept it is going to take time to heal. It’s like that, your fear, the weight on your chest that makes it hard to breathe is constant. You chase sleep. The sound of their voice calls for a deep breath and determination. A song on the radio can trigger your tears.
Suppression prolongs the pain, so when you can, sit down and cry it out. On a tablet, draw a line down the middle. Left is Pros (the positive things about the relationship). On the right is Cons (the negative things you experience in the relationship) Add to the list as you go. Read it over and over and over again. This exercise requires brutal honesty. It is about your reality, not your wishes and dreams.
Heartbreak is the asphalt. Healing takes time, so be patient. You’ll rip the scabs off some days and start over, but hang in there. You may have a few scars, but your smile, laughter and energy for life will one day make them trivial.
You are worth every trial you face to regain your sense of self and the happiness it brings. Your decision to strive for this is your first step.